Weird Waterpark Ride
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Going to the waterpark should be an enjoyable experience. Even if you are a little like Duncan. But how can Zoey and Duncan enjoy their time at the park when one of their castmates does not approve of their relationship for 'religious' reasons. Extremely late birthday present for GreenPokeGuy.


"C'mon Duncan," Zoey insisted, dragging Duncan to the entrance of a large waterpark, "it'll be fun!"

"But there'll be so many kids around," Duncan protested. "You know I don't like kids that are not my nieces, nephews, cousins, or friends' kids. And the music they'll be playing will be crap," he added.

"I can definitely agree with you on the music part, but it'll be worth it," Zoey assured Duncan. "Some of the slides are scary and you'd love them. Besides, some of our friends will be there as well," she added, brightly.

"Alright, but if I hear another Pitbull song I'm going to punch the parent of the nearest child who's being a little shit," Duncan muttered as he and Zoey queued up to pay to get in. Once they got in and got changed, the couple headed over to one of the lockers they rented to put their stuff in. While they were at it, Trent noticed them from the other end of the locker area. Trent was wearing nine swimming togs, nine goggles, nine swimming caps, nine arm bands (four and a half on each arm) and nine bikinis. When he noticed that Duncan was wearing only one swimming togs and Zoey was wearing only one bikini, Trent growled nine times and marched over to Zoey and Duncan to give them a piece of his mind.

Or nine pieces of his nine minds, as Trent likes to call it.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" Trent called after the couple. "Why are you two walking around naked like paedophiles?!"

"We're just wearing what most people in this park are wearing," Zoey replied.

"Yeah, and you look like a right clown," Duncan snickered.

"Well not only are you two being perverts, you are also insulting the Ninth God!" Trent snarled. He stared at the couple. "Are you two dating?" he asked, curiously.

"No," Zoey lied. "We're just friends."

"Gay best friends," Duncan added.

"Yeah right!" Trent sneered. "That's what they all say! Every gay couple insulting the Ninth God claimed to be **straight** best friends, but by the Power of the Nine I saw through their dirty, blasphemous lies!"

"Well we're not straight," Zoey insisted. This wasn't a lie. Both she and Duncan were bisexual, as were most of the cast. But they weren't going to tell Trent that. They knew what he was like.

"LIAR!" Trent shouted. "LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! Duncan's not masculine enough and Zoey's not effeminate enough to be gay!"

"I think you've got the stereotypes mixed up," Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, I know you two infidels are bisexual and dating one another!" Trent roared. "I know because I've looked at your diaries nine times!"

"WHAT?!" Duncan and Zoey screeched.

"And I know that you Satanists are going around shoving your heresy down everyone's throats!" Trent scowled. "Promoting non-traditional numbers and shit! You should know that 'Duncan' and 'Zoey' do not make 10!"

"What's wrong with ten?" Izzy asked, popping out of nowhere. "Izzy shags the Tenth God all the time! It's hot!" she added, licking her lips.

"Izzy, why are you naked?!" Zoey cringed.

"Izzy wants to feel the wind," Izzy shrugged.

"IZZY!" Trent snarled. "How could you?! Why did you have sex with the Tenth God?!"

"Because the Tenth God is sexier," Izzy cackled, running off.

"I'll be after you, you spawn of Satan!" Trent bellowed. "But first-" Trent turned to face Zoey and Duncan with an evil grin and bloodshed eyes. "-I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH NINE TIMES!" he cackled.

"Shit, run," Duncan muttered, as he and Zoey turned to do just that. They ran towards the nearest slide and lost themselves in the large crowd. Trent panicked as he lost sight of the couple he deemed blasphemous, and bumped into and knocked over a young boy.

"OW!" the boy yelped.

"Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Oops! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry," Trent apologised, as the boy picked himself up off the ground.

"It's fine," the boy lied, weirded out by Trent's repetitive apology. "Better than the birthday beatings I receive." **[1]**

"Birthday, huh? How old are you, son?" Trent asked, curiously.

"Ten," the boy answered.

Trent shoved the boy to the ground. "Hey, what is your problem?!" the boy demanded.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WANDERING AROUND IN PUBLIC SPREADING YOUR DISEASE?!" Trent snarled. "TEN-YEAR-OLDS SHOULD BE **QUARANTINED**! YOU'RE CONTAGEOUS!"

"Then why did you touch me?!" the boy demanded, blowing Trent a raspberry.

"I'm the prophet of the Number Nine Religion!" Trent angrily explained. "I'm immune!"

"Okay, you're weird," the boy rolled his eyes, as Trent bent down to lift him up over his shoulder. "HEY!" the boy shrieked, as Trent carried him towards a wave pool. "What are you doing?!"

"Killing you," Trent growled, throwing the boy into the pool and trying to keep the unfortunate child's head below the water. Trent was so determined to kill the kid he hardly noticed the boy's fathers running towards Trent like a pack of wolves.

* * *

Meanwhile, up at the slides, Zoey and Duncan were waiting at the back of the line when Izzy showed up.

"Still naked?" Duncan deadpanned when he registered Izzy's presence.

"Yep!" Izzy chuckled. "The police have showed up. They're looking for me. I think I saw your uncle near where Trent was getting the shit beaten out of him by two brute, burly men. Poor Trent."

"At least we lost him," Zoey sighed hopefully.

"Been on any of the attractions, yet?" Izzy asked.

"No, this is our first," said Duncan.

"Well when you get the chance, go down this big scary slide over around the north side of the park," Izzy suggested. "It's so fast, you have to be above a certain height and under a certain weight. So as soon as Izzy spots Big-O, Izzy's gonna encourage him to go down it. It'd be funny if you guys went down before him and he didn't bother to wait until you've cleared the slide before taking his turn," Izzy laughed.

"No it wouldn't," Zoey glared.

"Well you obviously have no sense of humour then," Izzy shrugged. "Well, Izzy sees your uncle coming," she told Duncan. "Either he wants to rub your head or catch E-Scope, but it won't be the latter!" Izzy darted off, chanting "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!" as Duncan's uncle noticed her and proceeded to pursue her. He didn't notice Duncan or Zoey, but Duncan didn't blame him. He had a psychopath to catch. Duncan and Zoey decided to just enjoy the park, especially now that Trent had been taken care of.

* * *

Or so it seemed. Trent may have been arrested immediately after receiving his no hands barred beat-down, but Trent broke free from his cuffs. Trent believed it was because of the Power of the Nine, but in reality, Izzy managed to slash Trent's cuffs with a machete as she and Duncan's uncle were passing Trent by. Trent ran towards the slides he believed Duncan and Zoey scurried off to earlier. Coincidentally, Trent made it to the right area. Fortunately, Zoey and Duncan had already used those slides and were at another area at the waterpark. Why did it take long for Trent to get to those waterslides? Trent noticed a bench occupied by eight people when he was on his way. Not happy with the amount of people sitting at the bench, Trent joined them and refused to let any one of them get up and leave. They were like that until a tenth person showed up, so Trent got up and left. Unaware that the occupants scrambled.

Meanwhile, Duncan and Zoey had already been on most of the slides in the park. They met Bridgette and Geoff at the wave pool and hung out with them for half an hour. They later caught up with Brick and Scott at the locker area and had a conversation about stuff.

"So how do you find this park?" Brick eagerly asked.

"It's not as bad as I thought," Duncan smiled. "I'm actually enjoying myself. Minus the Trent part," he added.

"It was hilarious when two mean beat the snot out of him," Scott snickered. "That was hilarious!"

"What happened?" Zoey asked.

"Trent tried to drown their son, because it's the boy's tenth birthday today," Brick explained. "I normally don't condone violence during peacetime, but Trent got what he deserved."

"At least that got Trent arrested," Zoey shrugged.

"NO IT DIDN'T!" screeched an eerily familiar voice from ten metres away. "NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T!" Trent walked over to the two couples, scowling. "NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T! NO IT DIDN'T!" Trent repeated himself.

"Goddamn it!" Duncan muttered.

"We heard ya the first time, Math Man!" Scott scolded Trent.

"Shut up, nine-haters!" Trent snarled. "I know that you two are dating! Sinners!"

"Is Owen around?" Zoey asked Brick.

"Yeah, he's heading over to the Kamikaze," said Brick, pointing towards a steep pair of waterslides that were both roughly six storeys tall. Owen was at the platform where people get on the slides. There were four people in front of him, waiting to go on the slide.

"Then let's go," said Duncan, shoving Trent aside and turned to run towards the Kamikaze slides. Zoey, Scott and Brick followed him. Trent maintained his balance but by that time he was way behind his targets.

"COME BACK HERE AND EXPERIENCE THE WRATH OF THE POWER OF THE NINE!"

Brick, Duncan, Scott and Zoey kept running until they were standing right by the waterslide; and the part of the slide where it gets to a level surface. Duncan noticed that Owen was just about to descend. Trent was gaining momentum as he got closer and closer to the waterslide. Owen hopped onto the waterslide. The two couples Trent was targeting ducked. Trent, having failed to notice this, jumped into the air in an effort to pounce on this targets, only to fall into the slide Owen was using.

And get hit by Owen in the process, causing what resembled a car crash.

Duncan, Zoey, Scott and Brick stood up; drenched and covered in water from head to toe. They surveyed the pool the slides lead into. There was some blood. Owen was groaning in pain. Trent groaned nine times, then remained silent. An ambulance was called to take them away.

Izzy crawled out from under the slide, grinning. "Looks like Big O has put Ne Win in the hospital," she laughed. **[2]** "Well, E-Scope's gotta run! See ya!" And so Izzy zoomed off like Roadrunner. Duncan looked at Zoey. Zoey looked back at Duncan.

"Well, that was an interesting day out wasn't it?" Zoey shrugged.

Duncan nodded. "Sure was. Ya wanna go pack up and get something to eat?" he asked.

"There's still a few slides I'd like to try out," said Zoey.

"Oh yeah; and the lazy river!" Duncan added. "After we try out all those slides, we can go to a restaurant or get a takeaway. How about that?"

"Sounds awesome!" Zoey smiled.

"But can we go to the lazy river first?" Duncan asked.

"Sure," Zoey agreed. "We'll see you two around," she smiled at Brick and Scott as they headed towards the wave pool.

"See ya guys," Scott smiled back.

"Thanks for helping us get rid of Trent," Duncan added.

"No problem!" Brick called back.

And so Zoey and Duncan lined up to get a two-person float they could use to ride the lazy river. Zoey could tell from Duncan's grin that he was beginning to enjoy his time at the park. She was glad she insisted on taking him there. And so was Duncan.

* * *

 **I intended to have this story written by the middle of July to coincide with GreenPokeGuy's birthday, but I got side-tracked. He's a huge Zuncan fan. I'm not registered on the forum to write a birthday present fic for him, but I consider him a close author and a chill person to hang around with. Besides, I wrote a birthday present for him last year, so why not this year? So happy belated birthday, Green!**

 **[1]. In my school we had this thing where we'd punch the birthday kid in the arm for every birthday they've had. For example, if it was your sixteenth birthday, you'd receive sixteen light punches that were meant to annoy the victim. All in good fun. We called it a Birthday Batin' (birthday beating, but with the Irish pronunciation). It was very wacky.**

 **[2]. Ne Win, who was President of Burma from 1962 and 1981 had an OCD related to the number nine. Not to the same extent as Psycho Trent, but to the extent of Trent when he was on** _ **Total Drama Action.**_


End file.
